Nicole Scherzinger: my bulimia was my addiction
Nicole Scherzinger recently revealed her battle with an eating disorder, confessing that "bulimia was my addiction."
The former Pussycat Dolls member made her comments on VH1's "Behind the Music" and said that she had never spoken about her struggle with her body and admited that it was "embarrassing" to talk about.
"I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs but kind of doing things to myself was my addiction," Scherzinger said in a clip from the episode. "It's like when I got offstage, I was on this high, and I'd come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things, my bulimia was my addiction. Hurting myself was my addiction."
The Hawaiian-born singer said that she suffered from bulimia for about a decade and her fellow band-mates said that they knew about her eating disorder and noticed the acid burns on her fingers and her diminishing size.
"Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself," she continued. "You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I'd try to hide those. I think the girls could tell... I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life."
"Behind the Music" will explore Scherzinger's childhood, battle with bulimia and struggles with her appearance, stemming from growing up Polynesian in the Midwest.
In January, it was announced that Scherzinger and host Steve Jones would not return for the second season of the FOX series. Scherzinger and her fellow judge Paula Abdul were replaced by Britney Spears and Demi Lovato, who appear opposite Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid on the panel.
Scherzinger has since signed on to be a judge on "The X Factor" in the UK. She is also continuing to work on her second solo music, following the release of her 2011 debut album, "Killer Love."
Nicole Scherzinger's "Behind the Music" is slated to air on Sunday, October 7 at 9 p.m. ET on VH1. Watch a promo below.