Mr. Moviefone reviews 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides'
This week at the movies, the studios are clearing the decks because "Yo Ho Yo Ho, it's a pirate's life for me" and you and moviegoers around the world as no one, or no movie, wants to go up against Captain Jack Sparrow as he sets sail on another high seas adventure in "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides."
This time, Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow is on the hunt for the fabled Fountain of Youth.
But Jack's plans take a detour when he's forced onto a ship with legendary pirate Blackbeard (played by Ian McShane) and his old flame Angelica, the swash-buckling, spit-fire lady pirate played by Penélope Cruz, also in search of the legendary fountain.
But shiver me timbers, this fourth installment loses both Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom.
The Reel Deal: I've never been a huge fan of the franchise. Johnny Depp is cooler than cool and I love him as much as you do, but the idea of the movies has always been better than the movies themselves.
They're really 2.5-hour versions of the ride, which is a disjointed series of action sequences with a really cool dude in guyliner.
But even the ride gets old and it's only 8 minutes and 30 seconds long. So at this point, "On Stranger Tides" seems more like "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Longtooth," and it may be time to walk the plank. I'm out.
Opening in limited release is Woody Allen's "Midnight in Paris" starring Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams as a couple transformed by a trip to the city of love.
There's also "Bloodworth," in which Kris Kristofferson is a man who returns to his hometown 40 years after abandoning his wife and sons.
And there's "Cost of a Soul," which is about two wounded veterans who come home from Iraq to a different kind of war zone: their slum neighborhood and the crime and corruption that envelope their families.
For all your showtimes, tickets, my Six Second Reviews and so much more, go to America's favorite movie guide, Moviefone.com, or you can call 1-800-777-FILM. If you want to drop me a note it's MrMoviefone@aol.com or Facebook.com/mrmoviefone.